Krysti Lynn
The Tease From Hell
by Captain Sid
Hustler Erotic Video Guide, January 1995

Screw the menu. Any true gourmand of gash will tell you Kristi Lynn's the best dish in Smutville. Low sodium, zero cholesterol, absolutely no fat. What an entree. Can't you imagine your teeth sinking into that marvelous angel-food-cake ass? What delicacy could possibly compare? Beluga caviar? Lamb cutlets? Dom Perignon '46? Balloons of brandy? Boxes of imported liqueur-centered chocolates? Forget it. Kristi is God-given proof that the way to a man's heart ain't through his stomach, but through his libido-with a little help from the ol' wrist...and, yes, the trusty can of Crisco if you can't cut the spit. Check her outstanding gang-bang with a screeching ass-fuck in The Voyeur, as well as her nasty threeway with Jon Dough and bald-headed black man David Pollman in Dog Wsiker, both from the perverted palate of John Leslie. Other Kristi titles to add flavor to your life: Buttslammers 6 and Buttman's Inferno...and we won't even get into the movies that haven't been released yet. You'll just have to suffer.

So, would you mind explaining this "tease from hell" label you've been crowned with? I mean, it's not like you're holding out; you usually give 150 percent in your videos.
KRISTI LYNN: I do. But after a certain period of time I tease the costars of my videos; it's a torture-type thing. I just don't throw myself right into the arena.

How long have you been in adult films?
LYNN: About a year and several months

Would you say your gang-bang in Leslie's Voyeur is one of the hottest things you've done to date?
LYNN: It is. And I've heard the same thing from John Stagliano, Patrick Collins, and others in the business. I mean, Stagliano said to me the other day, "I have 200 videos here, and I couldn't get the energy you got in that scene." But the story behind that was that it was my first gang-bang, and I'd said I was never going to do that sort of thing. Then I decided I wanted to do it for The Voyeur. John Leslie, you see, is the voyeur, he's shooting through the camera. And we go into this bar, and we actually had 40 extras sitting in there. So when we walked in, it really looked like we were going to play a game of pool. Well, in porno, a typical situation is that you film the basic shots with the extras in the background, then, when you go into something heavy, you cut, the extras excuse themselves, and you go into hardcore. But that's not how this scene worked. And that's why it's so good. So we're in this bar, and my four male costars and I are getting into this petting and the dicks start coming out, and I look at Leslie like "Okay, you're gonna excuse everybody from the room," and Leslie smiles and slowly shakes his head. It was like a live sex show. There were 40 people sitting there, watching me do the scene.

Would you say that prompted you to go over the edge?
Oh yeah. I'm an exhibitionist. I got very turned on. And Leslie knew that. He didn't tell me what was going to happen, but I didn't care. I trust John explicitly. He's a friend of mine. I don't work with some directors in the business because I know something like that would be intentional, their attempt to pull the wool over my eyes. But I knew John was just trying to get the best from me. And that's how he got it.

So where do you live these days?
LYNN: I live in San Diego. And then a lot of the time I live in Malibu. Originally I' m from San Diego.

Can you tell us a little bit about growing up in San Diego ?
LYNN: Well, I was a straight-A student. I also played the violin. I was the very, very good little girl-prima donna. And then I started my own little venture by opening up an outcall bachelor service/dance company. After that, I just kind of fell into porno, very accidentally-around the end of '92, the start of '93.

What about your first sexual experience?
LYNN: My first sexual experience was with my neighbor-the boy next door. I was leaving to go to the beach with my mother, and I went next door to give him a kiss goodbye. We had been dating for quite a long time. I was 12, and he was my little friend. Mind you, I moved out of my parents' house when I was 14, so I've had a very long life-I'm 23 now, so you can add it up. It was very painful and very bloody. I remember being sweaty, hot, and being in pain. I remember getting up afterward, going to the bathroom and kind of being in shock, and turning around and looking at the bed...and there was just this pool of blood. I also remember coming out of the bathroom and going to find my boyfriend-it had been his first time too. When I found him, he had his back to this kitchen counter, and we're just kind of standing there...frozen. I remember thinking, "Why do people do this?" Of course, over the years it got better.

I notice that you're a blonde in some of your features.
LYNN: But I'm a natural redhead. But at the beginning of '93, in all my Vivid stuff, my Andrew Blake stuff, I'm a blonde.

What was your attraction to X?
LYNN: I'm an exhibitionist.

So you must also like doing the private-booth circuit?
LYNN: Yeah. Well, it's going to be my first time working booths, but, as I've been telling everyone, that's kind of like a whore's mentality or a dancer's mentality. It's a character. We all play characters. I'm an actress. People say to me sometimes, "Are these scenes real?" Well, the truth of it is, some of them are, and some of them are my job. My job is being an X-rated actress.

When I watched you on the set of Buttslammers 6, that didn't look like acting. That looked real. Still, it must have been pretty scary working simultaneously with Bionca and Debi Diamond.
LYNN: The scene with Bionca and Debi was scary. I just had to really turn it up. And I'm very intimidating to some other people, although I don't try to be in a ferocious kind of way. But by nature I'm a very sexual person. But with Bionca and Debi I knew I had to turn my intensity all the way up. And as it turned out, we got an incredible scene. We met each other on the same plateau and blended perfectly with one another; we were all right there.

How did you like working with Bruce Seven?
LYNN: He wrote this about me on his movie: "Also in this masterpiece of debauchery we have the bitch-goddess Kristi Lynn learn that she should keep her mouth shut. You've got to see this one." John Stagliano and I have been dating for quite a while now, about three months. And Bruce does business with John. So Bruce and I have a very interesting relationship. We're kind of tit for tat. Had there not been a connection between John and 1, Bruce and I probably would not have worked together. But we've come to a common ground, and we're friends now. I just finished filming another Buttslammers with him. I did a scene with one male, and then I did a little dance for Bionca and Bruce.

Is it difficult to befriend your costars in the adult-video industry?
LYNN: The business is very strange between the women, because you're there to work. Like you saw that Bionca and Debi and I got along to a certain extent. But that doesn't mean we go out afterwards. It doesn't mean we're friends. It doesn't mean anything like that. It means that there are certain people that are on your same wavelength. Not that anyone's above or below anybody. We're different people. We're all on different wavelengths. I do like Alicia Rio a lot. I talk with her probably more often than with any woman in the business. She's a really nice girl.

Have you done any DPs?
LYNN: Just stills so far. I just finished Sodornania 9 for Patrick Collins, who said to me the other day, "Are you interested in doing a DP?" And I said, "It's kind of like when you asked me if I wanted to shave my head. It's all about money when it comes to something like that." Because sexually, that's not something that really interests me. And I said, "For $2,500, no...for 50 grand, I'll shave my head." I mean, if there's a big enough demand in the public to see something, I'll give my fans what they want to see. But I don't have any sexual cravings for DPs.

Anal doesn't seem to pose a problem for you-you've done a number of them recently.
LYNN: This year I've done about six of 'em. But you see, in the beginning, with all the stuff I did with Vivid and Andrew Blake and all of last year's festivities, I never did any anal. I was the no-anal girl. As a matter of fact, I did New Ends for Ed Powers, and it was his first anal movie. He paid me an ungodly amount to do an exclusive anal for him. At that time, I didn't do any anal with anybody else because, of course, no one could meet his price. And my rate has pretty much stayed the same since I first got into the business. I've done like maybe 43 things. You can compare me to some people, and they've done like over 100 at this point. And I don't necessarily figure that's the right way to do business. I think you should pace yourself. The drugs...you know, that's one thing I always like to talk about. It's really unfortunate. A lot of the times, the drugs really get to people. And I see people's lives destroyed; they're destroyed. Women make irrational decisions-they start getting on blow, they start getting on speed, they decide to get boobjobs. This is our world right now. But in ten, 20 years it might not be. And people get so wrapped up in the drugs, they make decisions that they wouldn't make when they were sober. People go on the road. They spend all their money. I mean, how many stories do you know of porno girls-feature performers that were making 90 grand a year, dancing-and now they have absolutely nothing. I mean, that's the result of drugs. And I don't do drugs. I stay far, far away from 'em. I don't think there's any need for them.

You obviously love dancing,though.
LYNN: Well I took dancing for years when I was a little girl. And I've always been a performer. I'm a vocalist as well. I plan-fingers crossed, knock on wood-to go on a worldwide tour next year, singing. I write my own music. I'm kind of going for a real big-band, Ella Fitzgerald kind of sound.

Did you read the quote about your ass in the latest issue of HUSTLER EROTIC VDEO GUIDE?
LYNN: They wrote something about my ass?
Seth Roberts wrote "Buttmen will be lining up at their local video store for the unveiling of this Picasso-like butt sculpture. Her seat cushion is so big, so round and so fully packed that porn producers should make a mold of her ass and paste this bumper on every girl who enters adult films."
LYNN: Thank you very much. I got shivers on that. That's very good. I like that a lot.

Do you get a lot of comments about looking like a young Jackie Onassis?
LYNN: Oh yeah, yeah. Especially right when she died. I'd be walking around the street and people's mouths would fall open and they'd say, "Do you know who you look like?" There was a certain grace about her...Picasso-type ass, huh? I mean, I really don't mind that.

Stagliano will appreciate that comment. How do feel about women's position in porn? Do you feel men do, in fact, run the business?-that there's no hope for the females to get some form of control?
LYNN: Well I never ask for equal rights. I just ask for us all to have respect for one another. And I think that's what's important. I'm a businesswoman. I've managed myself since the day I stepped into this business. I have no agents, and no one's ever represented me. So from my perspective, agents like Jim South and Reb, to me, they're the pimps of the business. I don't like working for Buck Adams, you know. There's different situations. As far as a stand in the business for women, I think there's a lot of times in the industry that men feel they can get away with something. And the unfortunate thing is that some of the women in the business, whether it's the money or the schmoozing, they're willing to give in to that. I hear about these girls who do six anals for $300, and I think that's bad business all the way around. I charge way more than that for one anal. And I don't consider myself a Savannah-type prima donna. I consider myself someone who keeps my rates at a certain price, and if you want to work with me, then we'll do business together.

How long do you intend to stay in X? Or is it fairly hard to predict?
LYNN: There's no way of predicting it. You know, videos to me are kind of sliding out of my life. I'm on the beginning of a 20-week adventure in dancing. And I had two huge feature films that were offered to me the day before I left, and it was heartbreaking because to me...I've done plenty of videos. A substantial amount. I always said in the beginning that it was a means to an end. Which it really is.

To the musical career you plan?
LYNN:TO being a headliner. That doesn't mean I use the industry for anything. I enjoy what I do in the industry. Since I don't have an agent, I don't get sent out on all these little oneday wonders, you know. I try to be really selective with who I work for and what I do.

Where do you see the industry headed? Do you think video is at its peak, or on its way out, with the whole CD-ROM revolution?
LYNN:I think in a lot of ways we're going in the wrong direction in porn. When I go to a porno store, I'd rather buy something from 15 years back. I think that we should cut all this glamour crap and get back to sex. We should stop shaving our pussies totally and completely. The guys should stop shaving their ball hairs. What we're selling here is sex. And that's what I try to give people in my scenes. I'm giving you sex. I'm not giving you this attitude of "maybe we're going to have sex," or "well, I don't really want to be here." A lot of the times I watch the stuff that comes out and it's so...unrealistic. That's why I like Stagliano and Leslie. Their films are realistic. It turns you on. You're kind of like "Wow, we're kind of like sneaking." It's like total voyeurism. We're sneaking to look at this sexuality so we can get turned on ourselves. But I really think we're going way too high-tech. We need to go the other direction. We're having sex. Let's just have sex.


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